Mercy

So I am thinking about giving blogging another try...

I have a new laptop so I think it will make it easier for me to type out my thoughts and my thinking more because I have this laptop.

Someone spoke to me prophetically and gave me the word Mercy and that I had the gift of Mercy... Now I thought I studied spiritual gifts and I didn't know that mercy was one of them. I just researched it and realized yes it is. It is a spiritual gift and one that is commonly unreconginizable. I started to research it a little more and found more information on it and how it is really awesome and I totally do have that gift. God has given me the gift of mercy and I need to embrace it more.

Also... Update on Brent.

He is still in coma but is starting to move around more. He does physical therapy and is breathing on his own, this is a big blessing from the Lord and I can't wait for him to wake up. To me it seems like a dream because I never use to see him or his family and now I see them a couple times a week and I still don't see him. It's kinda like he's still around here at school and I just don't see him because I never did... This is the first year we didn't have any classes together, at the beginning of the year I thought that was good so then I didn't have to remember all the memories with him but I still do and it's like he's still around and not hurt but unfortunately I am very wrong. He is still critical. Keep praying for him and for parker and both families. Parker is going to be in a lot of trouble as things keep popping up that aren't in his favor...

Life

It has been a long few weeks. I have had many things going on.... I am so excited I leave for Kenya in a week from tomorrow! It's so great. I am going to have so much fun... I am excited and nervous just to see what kind of awesome stuff the Lord does in my life. He has been shaping me so much lately.

We are starting this new ministry at church called Beloved and I am so excited to be able to help out with it. The ministry is for girls, who have been in bad situations with boyfriends or boys in general. It's going to be great. It's the first time they've really ever done anything like this. It's seven weeks long and each week we are going to talk about a different part of B.E.L.O.V.E.D. God is going to use that ministry to do something really cool and I cannot wait to see his plans unfold. I am also so overjoyed about You Own The Weekend. Last year it was so fun, I do not exactly know why you own the weekend was so fun but it totally was. We have so much to learn from other people and especially at our high school. God has definitely been working at ET through prayer circles, having the ASB come to church, really just reaching out to people through Invisible Children, TOMS, FCA, and so many other things. I feel like this is the first year when it's like "OK" to hang out with the lower classes... It's not that we have been distant in years before but people did not care about the younger class as much as we do this year. I think it's really important to reach out to the younger class because they're the ones who will soon be in the upper class, its like were a big family and have to be an example to the younger siblings. People have definitely grown this year. There has been some huge accidents and great blessings. God totally provides always and His plans are so much greater then we can even think. I am excited to witness the rest of His plans for this year. Big things are also happening at HSM. Every week they are so many people and each week it surprises me. We have so many great people and influences. I love the people and the pastors that come every week. I have made so many friends and I wish I wouldn't have wasted my younger years being dumb... and not going to church as much. Although I am happy because my life would be so different if I didn't go through the experiences that I did. Also New Mexico is coming up. Trent is going on the "scouting" trip this weekend, which apparently is a big deal. No student has ever been on a scouting trip before.

Trent has grown so much as our relationship seems to grow. He is so on fire for the Lord. He teaches me new things everyday. He is such a good example to me, and I am so thankful that he is in my life. I feel like things are so good for the both of us, and God totally surprised us with this wonderful blessing of a relationship that is centered completely on Him, which is exactly what I wanted and needed. Trent is so knowledgeable I could come to him with anything I needed or had questions on and he would figure it out. He also is not afraid to speak his mind about something, if I am doing something wrong then he will tell me and I love that about him. He has qualities that a knight of chivalry would portray. His morals and values are so right on. God is working in Trent's heart and it is so beautiful to be able to see.

Brent

wow I guess I really suck at blogging but whatever...
There has been a lot going on in the past couple of days. Brent Sirignano, my exboyfriend got in a really bad car accident. He is in very critical condition and is fighting for his life. When I first found out I just knew he was in a car accident and I didn't realize how bad it could be, but then my mom called and they said it was bad. He had a lung collapse and bruised his brain... At that point I didn't know what exactly to do with myself. Of course I was upset, but there was nothing I could do. And this all happened on the night of our Winterformal. I have gone to winterformal with Brent since freshman year and this is the first year that I didn't. Anyway... Brent needs Jesus. He is not a follower, he believes but does not exactly follow. He says he's catholic, but I don't know if he really understands what catholic means. We have shared so many memories together. I am so sad that he is in a medically induced coma but I know God has bigger plans. Like the driver of the car, he totally believes there is a God now, after going to one small group of boys he barely knows, they just told him about the hope the Lord offers and the forgiveness and mercy He has on His people. It's amazing how much forgiveness the Lord really gives. I love that verse where they made a veggie tale movie out of... it says how many times should I forgive, 7 times and the Lord says 7 times 77. And it just paints a picture in my mind that the Lord will always forgive us of our mistakes. God didn't intend on this accident to happen but He is going to use it all for His glory and it's going to be awesome to witness. I hope this opens up Brent's eyes and all of his friends too. He needs God's love so badly and I just wish he could see it. I want to talk to him so much and tell him to take a good look at whats going on and that he needs the Lord, just one time to say that i wish he wouldn't go back to his old ways of doing things. I feel like it's a huge competition between friends right now and who knows him best and who loves him the most and who is his favorite person. Why is it like that? People think that's how it should be, but it should really be about God's love mercy and forgiveness shining down on everyone and realize how fragile life really is. I miss the old brent before he got into all the crap where we could just laugh at dumb things and be silly. Where we wouldn't have any fights over sinful desires and we would just hang out and go to the river. I loved going to the river with him and the family. I've been twice and it was so much fun both times. Once I flung him on the jet ski and he got really mad at me for that, and then we'd go tubbing and i'd get really scared of falling off so Ed would have to drive it really slow... Those were the good old days. I am afraid of when he wakes up, he isnt going to want to listen to me. I know he still cares about me because I still care about him and he will always be special to me, but I just had to stop talking to him for awhile because if you love someone you of course want to talk to that person and when you keep talking to them it doesn't help you not keep loving them. So I had to stop because we were fighting all the time and not being honest and being sinful. Looking back I wish we could've started to talk. Not because I wanted to love him again but because I wanted to show him God's love and how much joy it brought me. I am scared when he wakes up he's not going to want to talk to me at all, because we rarely talked before his accident why would he want to talk to me now? After all I did break his heart twice... Why should he want to talk to me? But then I need to remember that God is so good and His plans are so much greater then mine and He knows if Brent's going to wake up and talk to me or he'll wake up and be mad at me and feel like I have no right to talk to him. I am praying for the first one. Although if I don't get through I know someone will. I don't know if I will ever stop praying for him or his family but I know God has a plan for brent, me, and our relationship.

Hopes

Well recently I have felt like I've been so busy... that I haven't even been able to be on the computer at all to write about anything!

So I was reading Trent's little book that he writes his thoughts in. One of them was about HOPE and where does your hope lie? Does your hope lie in the Lord? It was interesting to me, because sometimes I rely on myself or on other people. But why do we not rely on the Lord.

If He created us, why can't we put all of our hopes and trusts in Him? We totally can... I just think that it can be difficult sometimes. When things are going good its easy to say oh well since things are good, I can go my own way and rely on myself, but that is completely wrong. Since things are going good we should keep trusting in the Lord, and when things are going tough to remember He is there and that His hopes are our hopes too. He loves us, and He wants what is best for us we just need to remember to ask ourselves constantly, where does my hope lie?

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD."

Psalm 31:24

Faith

I recently read the book crazy love. It was probably one of the best books I've ever read. It's great and has some really great points. It talked about Hebrews 11 being the "Hall of Faith" and how all these people did these amazing things, like Abraham, Rehab, Moses... and I was thinking what are people doing today to get into the hall of faith. Why aren't we trying to make it into that. Is it because we have little faith?

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you havefaith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Matthew 17:19-21

So it can't be that we have little faith, but that we aren't acting in faith. What are we doing to act in faith? Are we choosing to live like Christ tells us to, and have faith that He can move mountains or are we looking to the world and saying we can't do anything significant because we don't live in bible times? I disagree. I think that we CAN do something awesome to get us into the "Hall of Faith" but we can only do that if we are willing to trust and have faith to go out and do whatever He calls us.

Authority

Sometimes I don't understand how authority works. People think that they can just tell you the rules even if they are unjust, especially people that are closest to you. Sometimes they think they know the best but don't really, and you know that, and other times they do know the best. I wish that I could just see it from God's point of view. Because God says to respect authority but even if they are ridiculous? It really bothers me and how people in authority don't give you any say, or if you do get a say, its wrong or you just get in more trouble. I am not specifically referring to anyone, it's just a thought I had.

I am sitting in Computer Graphics, and I thought that this website was going to be locked, then it wasn't so I am super excited, but back to listening to authority I guess

I need to work on my patients and respect toward authority and to treat people the way the Lord would.

P.S. If you are reading this and you are someone that's in authority over me I am not trying to talk down on you, just trying to organize my thoughts.

the HOLY Bible

Holy- associated with divine power, sacred.

People of today talk about the bible as just a book. And that it's only a book, but really the book is more than just a book its a HOLY book. The HOLY book from The Lord God. The Lord gave us this book to teach us and remind us of His many miracles, and how wonderful He is, and so we could be taught how to worship the Holy Lord correctly. I don't think many people understand that. The title of the book is The Holy Bible, and it's written like that for a reason.

Last weekend I attended Chi Alpha, Hebrew for Christ First. The speaker there was name Chuck and he was teaching us about the bible and he asked about all the different translations that we had. I was reading NIV he has ESV others had NLT, NASB, and so on... We have so many resources to reading and understand the bible but we hardly ever use them or thank the Lord for the blessing that He gave us. We are so incredibly lucky to have any type of bible we want just handed to us. But what about the people who are less fortunate to own a bible, or the people who don't have one just because there family is a different religion, or the people who will be killed if someone found a bible in there possession. I think we need to realize how much the Lord has blessed us and next time we read out of His Holy Book we thank Him for it.

The First

I have never tried blogging but it seems pretty fun because I like to write down my thoughts and it is really much easier to write them down on the computer, so we will see if this works out, I'm not quite sure if I'll be considered, a "good" blogger but I'll try to update and what not... We'll see.